Oh hell, do I have to play Fortnite now it's adding sliding and Spider-Man web-swinging?

Epic Games ended Chapter 2 of Fortnite over the weekend with a live in-game event which a live in-game event which involved a hole in reality, a UFO invasion, a sexy babe, and a new character played by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. The game's island flipped over too, revealing a whole new map for players to explore in Chapter 3 Season 1. And I find myself being lured in by two new features I usually adore in games: sliding on your knees while shooting, and swinging around like Spider-Man.

First, here's what happened in Saturday's live event. It feels such classic Epic Games for the army of giant purple cubes to be ruled by a sexy babe.

From there, Fortnite has entered Chapter 3, with a first season they call Flipped. The most obvious newness is the new island, with new places to explore, and more to come as the snowy side melts across the season.

What most interests me is the movement. I adore sliding in games, especially sliding where I can shoot. I slide in Destiny 2 whenever it seems remotely appropriate, I adore slidekicking in F.E.A.R., and one of the few Xbox 360 games I bought was Platinum's Vanquish, which is built upon sliding around while shooting in slow-motion. And hell, I've made my love of swinging around with grappling hooks quite clear across the years.

Spider-Man's web shooters will arrive on December 11th, letting players swing around like Spidey. The game had grappling hook guns before, but the glimpses of these gloves look way smoother. And yes, it has to be Spider-Man swinging because Epic's vision of 'the metaverse' is an advertising platform where all the brands come together in endless cross-promotion as if the horrible film Ready Player One weren't a horrible warning of how horrible this is.

I don't want to play Fortnite again but I do strongly want to enjoy fancy movement options, and reward games which add them. Everyone, please add sliding and swinging, thanks.

One curious addition of note is an element of persistence between matches. If you find the deployable Tent item, as well as healing there, you can stash several items then retrieve them in a future match if you find a Tent there. Huh!

Some bragging rights will persist between matches too. Place highly in a match (top four in Solos, top two teams in Duos, or top team in Trios and Squads) and you'll start the next match wearing a Victory Crown, which will reward you with bonus battle pass XP. And if you win while wearing a crown, it'll unlock an emote which shows off your number of Crowned Victory Royales in the season. The shining crown does make you more visible, though.

See Epic's announcement for more on everything new with Fortnite Chapter 3 Season 1.