Vampire Survivors: Directer's Cut is real, but "may or may not" ever release

Vampire Survivors' snazzy new engine upgrade is coming this month, but developers Poncle seem to be cooking up something even more exciting for their dopamine-fuel bullet heaven shooter. Vampire Survivors: Directer’s Cut is supposedly a major overhaul to the smash hit roguelike, although it unfortunately “may or may not” ever be released.

That’s according to former games journalist and now gaming consultant Laura Kate Dale, who tweeted that she had attended a preview event for the game’s upcoming co-op mode and was then “pulled aside” to see the mysterious special edition. Undoubtedly an odd way to reveal a new edition, but that’s endearingly on brand for Poncle at this point.

Dale said that the Directer’s Cut is “drastically different from the base game,” and that the “additions [are] more substantial than currently released DLCs.” Those additions include “wild new characters, stages, weapons, accessories, and evolutions.” Wild indeed, since the accompanying screenshots (above) show off an actual playable Santa, a Space Dude (yes, that’s his name), and some kind of cosmic blue egg with angelic wings and a top hat. Its name is Joe.

Dale also mentions that she “was not told this is a for sale product,” and apparently the team said “this content may or may not one day release.” But surely Poncle can’t rob us of the chance to play as Joe. Just in case, Dale posted a 15-minute playthrough video on YouTube, so we can all gawk in the meantime.

For those wondering, Directer’s Cut isn’t a typo - the Directer is actually a hidden boss found in Vampire Survivor’s late game. Is that a double entendre? A triple? A quadruple? Probably if the potentially phallic reading of Directer’s Cut was an intentional joke.

Regardless, more Vampire Survivors can only be a good thing unless you’re an at-risk procrastinator. The fangtastic auto-shooter was our favourite game of last year and the recent 1.5 update added even more to love.